My Very Favorite Sandwich

The world of the vegetarian sandwich is a cold, desolate one. It seems to me that practcally every sandwich out there involves some sort of meat, and those that don't are composed mostly of lettuce. This is my effort to absolve this travesty of the sandwich universe. This isn't really a recipe, so I'm just going to give it to you straight.

Fill a pan with a little bit of olive oil or Canola oil. Oh, and make sure your stove is nice and dirty and your camera is broken, or this sandwich will be ruined. JUST KIDDING, ha ha, I'm not bitter. Slice up an onion by first cutting it in half to remove the outer papery layer, then resting it on its flat side and cutting down its length. Throw as much onion as you want into the pot; for one sandwich, a quarter of an onion will more than suffice, usually. Let the onion sizzle for a few minutes, depending on how soft you like your sauteed onions. I like mine nice and soft and brown and caramelized, which is why I put them in a good three or four minutes before the mushrooms.

While the onions are cooking, slice up your mushrooms. I like to use baby bellas. I lop of the tough stems and just give them a nice chop into three or four pieces each. Throw these in the pan with the onions. Toss this around a little in the pan and douse generously with salt and pepper. I also like to use garlic powder. Why? Because it is cheaper than whole garlic and a little goes a long way. Also I am lazy.

While the veggies are sauteeing, throw a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster, BUT FIRST, put a slice of cheese on one piece of bread. (I just do the toaster bit so the bread will hold up the sandwich better, and so the cheese will melt.) When the bread comes out of the toaster, butter the slice that doesn't have cheese on it. Why? Because you know you want to.

By now the onions and mushrooms should be ready. They will have cooked down quite a lot: The onions will be brown and translucent, and the mushrooms will be a deep sienna.

Dump as much oniony, mushroomy goodness as you possibly can onto your bread and close up thy sammich. That's about it. Toodle-oo.

p.s. It tastes better if you cut it diagonally. TELL ME I'M WRONG.